


Even If We Can’t Find Heaven

by MagicQuill42



Series: A Little to the West of Perfect [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Crushes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Offscreen Break Up, Pining, Talking, The word isn't used but it's based on my own experience as being a romo ace, or two, talking about nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicQuill42/pseuds/MagicQuill42
Summary: Fellas? Is it gay to lay under the stars with your homies? Is it gay to spill your greatest fears to them? Fellas is it gay to get comforting cuddles from your guy friends because you admitted to them you sometimes feel like nothing and that helps but it's hard not to think about their arms now? Is that gay?OrThe Bad Boiz have a talk about what they saw in the Nightmare Forest and take turns reassuring each other. And they're only crushing on one another a little.
Relationships: Fabian Aramais Seacaster/Gorgug Thistlespring, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster, Riz Gukgak/Gorgug Thistlespring, riz Gukgak/ Fabian Aramais seacaster/Gorgug Thistlespring
Series: A Little to the West of Perfect [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846537
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	Even If We Can’t Find Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Change of pace from my usual stuff to indulge in my new obsession/ OT3
> 
> Spoiler warning for Season 2 of Fantasy High cause it takes place post-canon and there’s a lot to unpack there.

“What did you see? When we were facing the Nightmare King?”

It was an innocent enough question. Maybe not the one best suited for when the three of them were lying next to the Seacaster pool and staring up at the stars but the Bad Kids had never been a traditional group anyway. So when Fabian winced, it was more at the question itself than the location it was being asked or who was asking it.

“...I thought I told you what I saw,” He dodged. 

“Yeah but when we met up again you were scared enough to hug me,” Gorgug said. “That seems way worse than a sexy rat would have been.”

Riz sat up at that, too, big goblin eyes focusing on Fabian in that intense way he had that had no right at all to make Fabian’s insides flutter. 

“You and Gorgug hugged?” 

“Alright down- don’t make a big deal out of it,” Fabian waved a hand like he was going to bat at Riz, making absolutely no contact. “It- It was- a -a -it was no big deal. Just a super scary nightmare forest and I’d just- I only just got away without the rat or Chungle-Down Bim touching me. I- it was an adrenaline high.”

“Adrenaline makes you high?” Gorgug asked, baffled and endearingly missing any point within a mile of him. 

“It’s an expression,” Riz said, patting Gorgug’s forehead. “...Would you tell us if we told you what we saw?”

“Why do you even want to know?” Fabian asked, exasperated. 

Riz shrugged. “I want to ask everyone and log them. Just to kinda... I dunno. Know what people need reassurance of?”

A noble goal. One Fabian kind of wished had occurred to him. He sighed a little, and looked up at the sky. 

“...I turned invisible,” He said after awhile. “I faded away and no one could see me or- or hear me and- and- and I couldn’t- couldn’t touch Gorgug and I think no one even remembered me cause the illusion Fig didn’t talk about me and when he was leaving Gorgug didn’t call out for me. And then I her- heard Chungle-Down Bim coming for revenge so I ran. And I took shelter in- in this cave thing only the sexy rat was inside and no I still don’t know why but then they were both chasing me and eventually I just gave in and laid down on the ground and told them to do whatever they wanted and then the- the ground gave out underneath me and I saw Gorgug and Gorgug saw me and knew who I was and I was just so so relieved and I-”

Fabian choked, laughing a little. “How effed up is it that my worst nightmare is not getting any attention?”

Two strong arms and two thin arms wrapped around him without any further word. He clung to whichever was closest, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry. And they just lay there awhile, holding each other and not saying anything.

“...Mine was a puzzle.” Gorgug said after a few minutes. “Like... all the bad stuff in the world and my big nightmare is that I’m dumb.”

“You’re not dumb, Gorgug,” Fabian said reflexively. 

Gorgug only shrugged. “Maybe. Hard to think that sometimes. Especially compared to my parents and all of you- I mean the only other kinda dumb ones are you and Fig. And Fig is the King of hell and you’re... well you. It’s hard not to compare myself sometimes.”

“Gorgug...” Riz said softly. “I may be, like... traditionally smart, but you’re way smarter with people and stuff. I freeze up talking to hotel clerks, do you think I would have- heat of the moment- thought to kiss Ragh last year while we were fighting KVX? And now he’s one of our best friends! And the gnomes in the Tinkerer’s Hall, I mean- we wouldn’t have even thought to talk to them without you, let alone what you did with giving them all your money!”

“You’re brilliant, Gorgug,” Fabian finished for him. “In your own way.”

Gorgug was quiet for a moment. “...Thank you. ...If it helps, I only forgot you cause’a the spell. If it weren’t for that... You’re really unforgettable, Fabian. I’d notice if you disappeared.”

Fabian chuckled a little. “That... that means a lot, actually. Thank you, Gorgug.”

There was another beat of pause before one of the strong arms lifted from around Fabian and he heard the distinct sound of a goblin being poked in the cheek and a half-orc almost getting bit for it.

“Your turn,” Gorgug said, as if Riz hadn’t just tried to take off one of his fingers.

Riz sighed so heavily that Fabian felt his chest puff up against his own. “But it’s... Mine is a real mood breaker, guys.”

“A deal is a deal,” Fabian told him. “We spilled our guts, now either you spill yours or I’ll use my sword to spill them over the bloodrush field.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Gorgug scolded softly.

“...No, I wouldn’t. But it’s still not fair!”

Riz huffed again. “Okay, okay. ...Well... I told you I saw Baron again, right? Well they were in a room full of creepy mirrors and in the mirrors were... they were images. Pictures of all of you guys and your romantic relationships. Leaving me alone... and one of my parents dancing together. And Baron told me that... I’ll never have any of that. That I’ll never even want any of it, even if I want to want it. And that you guys don’t see me as anything more than a tool for solving mysteries and will all find someone who matters more to you than me.”

“...Do you want it?” Gorgug asked quietly.

Riz shrugged a little. “Romance... romance sounds kinda nice. Being picked by someone or multiple someone’s and being loved. Even kissing sounds pretty great, honestly. But... when I think of getting into bed with someone and taking off all my clothes and having their hands roam over me? I feel like my stomach is twisting in knots. Like I might vomit if someone tried to touch my butt in a sexual way. And I don’t even get it, you know? Like people say butts are hot, but why? That’s where poop comes out of! There’s nothing sexy about poop!”

Fabian couldn’t help but snort a bit at that. “Poop is rather unsexy. Definitely a bit of a mood-ruiner.”

Both Gorgug and Riz chuckled a bit. 

“...But for the record, The Ball,” Fabian said softly. “We’re not your friend because you solve mysteries for us. We’re your friend because... Because...”

“Cause we like you,” Gorgug supplied. “You’re cool to hang out with and really funny without making fun of us.”

Fabian nodded. “Yes. That.”

“...I don’t think I’ve heard you call me your friend before,” Riz said, so softly that Fabian almost didn't hear it. 

“Yes well,” Fabian huffed. “I don’t think I have any dignity left tonight, there’s no one but us, and even if there were anyone else it isn’t like admitting the coolest kid in school is my friend will do my reputation any harm.”

Riz laughed a little at that. “I guess.”

“...I’ll try to say it more often,” Fabian whispered in promise. “For all of you.”

It was quiet for some time after that, only the soft sound of the pool and the crickets around them making any noise. Fabian let himself unwind, just enjoying the comfort of his friends nearby and the soft sound of their breathing and the gentle pressure of the arms they never removed. 

“I think I’m bi.” Gorgug said, apropos of nothing- though quiet enough not to shatter the peace of the evening. 

“...yeah?” Riz asked him. 

“Yeah. Or maybe pan? I’m not sure. But... I kissed Ragh again after that game where I scored the win and... it was kinda good. I don’t really have feelings for him but... it was good.”

“Have you told Zelda?” Fabian asked.

Gorgug nodded his head, making a bit of his hair fall and tickle Fabian’s ear. 

“I did, but we’re not dating anymore. She found out she’s um... an arrow?” Gorgug said, though he didn’t sound sure. “...No aro. Aromantic, that’s it. And she wanted to just be friends instead.”

“Dang... That sucks, man,” Riz said sympathetically. 

Gorgug shrugged. “It’s cool. I mean it’s not but it kinda is too, you know?”

“...Yeah, I get that.” Fabian said. “Alweyn and I were never going to go anywhere either. After I came out and we broke up, she told me she wasn’t even surprised. She was only in it to get her kisses in. So like... Even if I hadn’t come out it would have been bad for us. But it still hurt when we broke up. So...”

“It’s cool but it’s not,” Gorgug finished for him. “Yeah...”

“Yeah.” Fabian said. “...So while we’re talking kisses, anyone want to confess their crushes?”

Both boys snorted and Riz reached down to poke him just below the eyepatch. 

“Way to veer wildly off topic.”

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood!” Fabian defended. 

“I’ve got a couple crushes,” Gorgug hummed. “But I’m okay with staying friends for now.”

“...honestly same.” Riz said after a moment. “Especially since I’m still trying to figure out if me not being... like... horny is a late bloomer thing or a forever thing.”

“I think whoever you’re crushing on would be lucky to have you,” Fabian said, thinking of intelligent eyes and strong arms, a measured voice and a quick wit. “You shouldn’t have to want sex to want to go on dates. And you certainly don’t need either one to have a happy life.”

“...Thanks. ...Still, I like knowing answers to things and this is a huge question mark for me,” Riz admitted. “So... Unless they were to ask me out, I think I’m gonna be single for a bit.”

“You never know,” Fabian mused. 

“I wish I did...”

“...Hey guys?” Gorgug said softly. “I’m really glad we’re friends.”

“Me too.” Riz said, squeezing his scrawny arms to tighten the hug they were all now tangled in. “Me too.”

“...Me too,” Fabian said, letting himself smile. “I’m really glad you guys are my friends.”

Maybe one day... there'd be even more there. But for now Fabian was content to have them, their arms around him, the pool nearby, and the endless stars above. This might not have been any version of heaven, but he couldn't think of a single place better.


End file.
